Natural Hair | 10 Fears I’ve Outgrown

I wasn’t one of those naturalistas who automatically had it all together after my big chop. I was very young and had so much growing to do. Growth that required tearing down the lies I’d been told about the beauty of Black women. Growth that required the boldness to embrace my individuality. Growth that required research, knowledge, and the humility to continue learning and evolving. I've grown immensely, but there's still so much more to gain. Here are ten fears I’ve outgrown during my ten-year natural hair journey.

1. People’s opinions. When I first went natural, I received some shady comments from family and friends. Most people thought it was a phase and continually asked when I was going to perm my hair again. Other people had things to say that aren't worth repeating. My feelings were hurt, but over the years I’ve grown tough skin.

2. Cutting my hair. I didn’t even own a proper pair of hair sheers until four years into my natural hair journey. I was so consumed with length retention that I valued longer hair over healthy hair. This obsession resulted in three major trims because my split ends had split right up my hair shaft and caused irreparable damage. The great thing about these experiences is that I learned my hair will grow back healthier and stronger. These days, I make sure to do regular trims to keep split or damaged ends at bay.

3. Rocking my fro. All the talk about protective styling had me hiding my gorgeous mane in buns and wigs. I was afraid to wear my hair out in all its fro-like glory because I wanted to protect my ends from possible damage. And while there’s some truth to the protective styling theory, these days, I simply enjoy my hair. I rarely tuck away my ends, but I’m still seeing growth.

4. Unlaid edges. It used to be imperative that my edges be super 'laid' whenever I styled my natural hair. To achieve this look, I styled my hair tightly and used a ton of gel. But when my hairline went MIA, I’d decided that ‘laid’ edges wasn’t worth traction alopecia. I also realized that I had to free my mind from Western beauty standards and take into consideration that my hairstyles can be just as beautiful without super slick edges or 'tamed' hair.

5. Undefined curls. Whenever I’d get even a hint of frizz, I’d pin my hair away and declare my braidout a fail. For some reason, I was embarrassed by less than perfect curls. I was still renewing my way of thinking in regards to beauty, so I believed if I was going to be a naturalista my hair had to be perfect at all times—never nappy. These days, my definition of ‘perfect’ has been rebirthed, and the weight of ‘representing’ the natural hair community has since been lifted.

6. Shrinkage. Obviously shrinkage can be very annoying when a hairstyle calls for stretched hair. But it’s the nature of my hair—a sign that my hair is healthy and doing as it should. I had to either learn to love it or fight against it for the rest of my life. I learned to love it. As a naturalista with fine hair, shrinkage gives me fullness and body.

7. Using heat. It took me a while to start using heat on my hair. I was afraid of the irreparable damage that often resulted from the misuse of heat tools. The easy solution was to learn and practice proper usage of heat styling tools—which, for my texture, also meant using heat sparingly.

8. Looking unprofessional. After graduating college, I was unsure of how I was going to wear my natural hair in corporate America. I hid underneath wigs for a period of time, until I felt confident enough to test the waters. I’ve worn a vast array of hairstyles to work; from puffs, to pinups, and even afros. No one has ever said a word to me about my looking unprofessional. I’ve also worn these styles to plenty of interviews and was still offered corporate positions.

9. Experimenting. There was a time when I wouldn’t even consider straightening my hair or trying out certain styles. But experimenting has been my best teacher to date. Now I know pertinent information, like how much heat my hair can handle, and that wash-n-go’s are not for me. Experimenting has also helped me decide what products work best in my hair.

10. Being unattractive. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt ugly when I first started wearing my natural hair. Again, I was still caught up in western beauty standards. Another major reason I felt this way was because I had no clue how to take care of my hair, or how to make it look good. I was just learning as I went along. Knowledge was definitely my power in this case—and practice, patience, and persistence has been key. I took to YouTube, blogs, and natural haircare forums for information and inspiration. I also read books on haircare. As I learned more about my hair and what styles and products worked best, my confidence soared. But, most importantly, I also made sure to work on the woman within!

Can you relate to any of these? Let us know down below!

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