I Didn't Intend to Go Natural | My Natural Hair Story
- Nike Anderson
- Mar 9, 2016
- 4 min read
These days, most women make a conscious decision to go natural. They might be tired of their processed hair, have been educated about the dangers of using hair relaxers, or simply think natural hair is the bomb and want to jump on trend. None of these reasons apply to me. I went natural to go relaxed!
During undergrad, I was the weave queen. I was too lazy to take care of my hair, so I simply wore wigs most of the time. I even slept in them! But during this period, something happened. Each time I removed my wig to wash my hair, my strands were shorter and more fragile. Of course, I ignored this. It didn’t matter. I’d simply wear wigs for the rest of my life. No biggie.
But by senior year, I’d had enough. What used to be healthy, shoulder-length tresses, were now scraggily, thin strands. My hairline had said “deuces”—it was gone! And to make matters worse, I had super long strands mixed in with very short ones. This confused me. Was my hair shoulder-length or balding? It was definitely both!
I remember standing in front of the mirror in my dorm room, with a pair of heavy-duty scissors in my hand (totally not the proper kind of scissors). My hair was unrecognizable to me. The only way I could redeem it was to let it go. And that’s what I did. I haphazardly chopped off every bit of my relaxed strands until I was left with less than two inches of unprocessed hair. I cried, but I knew at a least I could hide underneath wigs until my hair grew back.
What was the plan? The plan was to grow out my natural hair until it reached my shoulders again. At that point, I would chemically process it and start my relaxed hair journey over. I didn’t know what “going natural” was at the time. In fact, I judged women who walked around with what I once viewed as “nappy and unkempt” hair. I was an honor student, so I spent most of my time studying. Never heard about YouTube. Never heard about natural hair forums. Never heard about the natural hair community, in general. Don’t judge me, I was getting those A’s—but failing miserably in self-awareness!
I started my natural hair journey wearing braided extensions. I wore braids to my graduation, to my wedding, and practically for an entire two years straight. Each time I uninstalled my braids, I fell more in love with the texture and health of my natural hair. I stared at it, played with it, and started doing research about it. But I still planned on getting a relaxer.
My mind changed the day I realized that I could fit my hair into a nice size ponytail. My hair fell slightly below my shoulders by then. It was now time to relax my hair. The problem was, during my research on natural hair, I learned how harmful hair relaxers can be. I also learned about the Natural Hair Movement, and was introduced to a community of beautiful natural women who embraced their God-given hair.
I decided that day that I would not relax my hair. I would begin my natural hair journey—intentionally. But there was still so much I had to learn, so much personal growth that needed to take place. My natural hair was super dry, I had no idea what to do with it, and there was no way I’d be comfortable ditching my wigs and wearing my natural hair out for the world to see. Not to mention, I still struggled with unhealthy thoughts about myself as a black woman with kinky–textured hair.
Then something else happened to me. God found me right where I was, and I started to follow Jesus. I’m not talking about the kind of following that goes to the club on Saturday night and then to church the next morning. I’ve been there, done that. I’m talking about the kind of following that literally changed me. I started to grow in character, learn my worth, and lose my desire for approval from the world. My spiritual journey is another post in itself, but it was a pivotal moment in my natural hair journey. A moment where I no longer cared if people thought my hair was nappy or unsightly. A moment where I decided to set an example for little black girls and boys—one that told them that they’re perfect just the way they are. At that moment, my natural hair journey became greater than myself.
It took years for me to get to a place of true self-confidence. Confidence that has nothing to do with what I look like or what other people think about me. Confidence that has everything to do with knowing who I am and who God created me to be. Since that pivotal moment, I’ve been rocking my natural hair boldly and unashamed. But I know that I’m not invincible, that’s why I still continue to learn and grow each and every day.
Not only has this journey introduced me to some incredible women, but it’s given me a chance to help many women who are where I used to be. I love that! And that’s not all. The effect my decision is having on my two boys is certainly priceless. Natural hair is normal to them. In fact, my kindergarter’s first crush was a little girl with a beautiful afro. I live for moments like the one I experienced two years ago, when my eldest son was watching me do my natural hair. He seemed to be impressed by the way my coils stretched and bounced back into place. Out of the blue, he said, "Mommy, your hair is so cool!"
I want to end this post by saying that I don’t pass judgement on those women who decide against going natural. I was once one of them. I know the struggle. So this is not an, I went natural, you should, too, kind of post. What I hope you take away from this post is to aspire to have the bold confidence to be unapologetically you, regardless of disapproval from others. Regardless of how uncomfortable it may initially make you feel.
Now it’s your turn! What made you decide to go natural? Let us know down below!
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